Yes, the day will come when Zack will find his place in life and be the person that HE wants to be. He will be a proud young man and do what is right for God and himself. We are teaching him to put GOD first in his life. It is hard but with time and patience he too shall learn.
How many times are we impatient for something to be "done", to be "fixed" and how many times have lost our patience because it wasn't done when "We thought it should be done"??? I ask you this question for you to think of the times that you lost your patience with your children, spouse, co worker, friend and yourself because things were not getting done in "your" time frame. Think about that for a moment while I continue...
I am a stickler for being on-time. I am most always early to work, I like being early to an event, I like to be on time to a doctor's appointment or something special. I don't like being late. Call it a phobia for me that being late is a crime. Being late is the worst that can happen to me...at my age you would think I would learn...I haven't yet. You all may laugh but I am truly a stickler for being early, you can ask my family, they know me and what I expected when they were young and as they grew older. "Be on time" was something I drilled into their brains! I slowly learning that being on time is good but if I am late it is not a crime and the world will not stop turning because I am late. I am working on it and will improve with time...I know I best hurry...I am not getting any younger!
This past 15 months has opened my eyes to exactly what I have expected of myself, Greg and my children. Boy, was I wrong to expect too much but then not enough...it is a catch 22 that I have been caught up in for way too long. Zack has taught (and still teaching) me a lot of things that I needed to rethink and to stop before I act upon my feelings. It is hard for I have always been a person who speaks her mind and feels comfortable with the results. How wrong I have been. Zack again has shown me that I must say what I mean and mean what I say. For instance, I want him to pick up his clothes, I must say exactly what I want him to do or he will do something entirely different. Having a child with Autisum has shown me that all things are possible if you take the right steps and not to set a time frame or expect too little or too much of them. It is a long journey for both of us but I think the end result will be the best for him. I look back at last year at this time and we were at our wits end. Today his school report showed he did not use anger to solve a problem, he just walked away and kept his hands to himself. For Zack that is a great milestone. I must say also that Zack has only missed 2 days so far this school year, compared to 17 from last year. He was sent home more times than he was in school for his aggressive behavior. He has improved quite a bit but still has a long road ahead of him...but the right steps are there and he sees them. Just learning to take the right steps is a challenge but I see him doing it! I am proud of him and he has truly shown that with God all things are possible for at this time last year I was doubting if I was the best choice to raise him...I am happy that we hung in there and found the right people to help us out...it has really improved him and me also!
Remember when I asked earlier in this blog if you get impatient when things are not done in YOUR time frame?? Try working with a child whose time frame is entirely different in his mind. His insight to things are eye openers. He shows me that I can't get impatient and expect him to complete it as I want it completed, I have to be more open to how he sees it being completed that I must wait it out and good things will come. Do you do this with GOD and your prayers? Do you pray expecting GOD to answer you and give you what you want? Regardless of the prayer being answered as you wanted, how about the time frame? Do you expect a quick response from GOD? Most of us will say yes, but if we think like Zack does, time is not what is most important it is the quality of the prayer that is most important and waiting for it to be answered as GOD feels best it to be answered. We are way too impatient and expect too much from GOD!! Why not step back and say your prayer and wait for HIM to show you the answer. It may not be as long as you think, especially if you trust in HIM and know that GOD will answer ALL prayers no matter how big or small they are, HE does answer them. We are HIS children and He does not get impatient or upset with us because we do not do it in HIS time. He is patient and kind and shows us every day that HE does work miracles everyday in our lives, we just have to be open enough to realize what HE has done and thank HIM for HIS good deeds in our lives. Zack has made me realize how GOD has truly worked in his young life. At 7 he has seen more than I have ever seen when it comes to anger, hatred, lies, drugs, booze and God only knows what else. At 7 he is struggling to overcome his past and be a better person. Every day that he has is a blessed one and I am so grateful that GOD gives me the strength to be one of the people guiding his young steps in life. He truly is a blessing from GOD and I thank GOD everyday that he is a part of our lives. I know one day he is going to grow up and move away but the time that I have with Zack right now will always have a special place in my heart. He truly is an angel sent from heaven to show me one of GOD's miracles of life!
Thank you for taking the time to read this post, I pray that you are patient and kind with those who are in your life. Take a moment and thank one person a day this week for something that they do special for you. It could be a co worker who just shared a smile or your spouse unloading the washer, or one of your children taking out the trash, or God painting the trees the lovely colors of fall! We are all truly blessed by God's many wonderful blessings in our lives! God Bless you!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The letters
Today, October 13, 2010 we received a letter from the kids Mom. It was a decent letter but still heart breaking too. She wants to plan a visit in March of 2011 (why so long, I ask). She also wants to know what she can get the children for birthdays and Christmas's that she has missed. How does one tell her that the gifts are not needed? How does one tell her that the greatest gift that she could have given her children was her? How does one tell her that the life that she had with the children is over and a thing of the past and make her understand? Maybe she does understand and is trying to make things up as she writes each letter. For so long (I am talking about 9 months) we did not hear from her now all of a sudden two letters within about two weeks of each other for the children. Troubling, what is she trying to do? Will she try to regain custody? Is there an underlying motive to all this communication that she is doing? We (Greg, Tabby and I) read the letters and if we feel okay we let the children know of them and read them to the kids. So far, Zack has been the only one able to understand and cope with the letters. The counselor for the girls feel it best (so do I) that it is not a good thing right now and to save them for later when the girls are a bit older and stronger to understand all this mess that was created in their young lives.
Sunday, we enjoyed an afternoon at Ren-Festival in Waynesville Ohio. It started out as a long trip...same day as the Sauerkraut Festival and we had to go through a lot of traffic just to get to Ren-Fest. Once we arrived there, we planned out a strategy to see as much as we could. The kids were great...they had a blast. We got to see a man tossing around fire, ride a camel, watch a baby dragon come to life, ride in a big swing, go through a large maze with a slide at the end, go around a May-pole and see a real live joust. We wanted to see the mud show but just did not make it to that event...maybe next year. There were a lot of people dressed in era and a few women were a little too showy...a friend of mine would have really enjoyed seeing those women!! All in all we were given a very nice day not only weather wise but being there was fun. Thanks to Tabby and Martin for coming up with this idea and to Greg for getting a free ticket! That place can be very expensive...
Halloween is quickly approaching and Zack has told me he has his costume already. Tabby, Martin and the girls are going as characters from Alice in Wonderland 2010. I can't wait to see them dressed up and together...you can bet I will be taking pictures of them. We will work on Zack's costume this weekend...can you believe today is the 13th!! Unreal...where has October gone?
Thank you for reading my thoughts and checking out how things are for our special family! God has blessed us in so many ways and we are truly thankful!! So long for now...I will post more soon!
Sunday, we enjoyed an afternoon at Ren-Festival in Waynesville Ohio. It started out as a long trip...same day as the Sauerkraut Festival and we had to go through a lot of traffic just to get to Ren-Fest. Once we arrived there, we planned out a strategy to see as much as we could. The kids were great...they had a blast. We got to see a man tossing around fire, ride a camel, watch a baby dragon come to life, ride in a big swing, go through a large maze with a slide at the end, go around a May-pole and see a real live joust. We wanted to see the mud show but just did not make it to that event...maybe next year. There were a lot of people dressed in era and a few women were a little too showy...a friend of mine would have really enjoyed seeing those women!! All in all we were given a very nice day not only weather wise but being there was fun. Thanks to Tabby and Martin for coming up with this idea and to Greg for getting a free ticket! That place can be very expensive...
Halloween is quickly approaching and Zack has told me he has his costume already. Tabby, Martin and the girls are going as characters from Alice in Wonderland 2010. I can't wait to see them dressed up and together...you can bet I will be taking pictures of them. We will work on Zack's costume this weekend...can you believe today is the 13th!! Unreal...where has October gone?
Thank you for reading my thoughts and checking out how things are for our special family! God has blessed us in so many ways and we are truly thankful!! So long for now...I will post more soon!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Onward and Upward
With GOD at the helm we can do anything...as long as we listen to HIS commands. I have always tried to live by this one sentence for I believe wholeheartedly in GOD and His wonderful love for me. I can't say I have never sinned for I have, I am human and it is just a fact of life, you will sin. It is what you do after the sin is committed that means more to GOD than the sin itself. Life keeps moving forward and sometimes it feels like just yesterday is was 1979 and we were having our first child...so much has happened in our lives but we accept the downfalls, the challenges and the triumphs and praise GOD daily for all HIS love and great works in our lives.
In 1986 my oldest brother David, was diagnosed with lukemia (sp?) and we all were devastated, not as much as David and his family. He was in a very fast moving cancer and the doctors felt they could zap it with chemo and radiation. Dave did the chemo for a while but it only made him sick and did not prolong his life. He knew this in May of 1987 and wanted to fill his childrens lives with so much and more. He had divorced the woman he loved with all his heart because she just was not happy in the marriage and could not stay with him. Chris was 9 years old and Trina was 4 years old and they did not understand totally what was happening. Dave and I had talked about taking a train ride to Metamora Indiana with the Girl Scout Troop that I was the leader for at the time. We planned it all out and the date we were going was the 29th of May. Dave bought all the lunch meat (he was a butcher by trade) and I bought the rest of the stuff for our trip food on the train to Metamora. Early that morning, my Mom called and said to stop and pick up the kids they were ready to go but Dave had a headache and fever and needed to go to the doctor. Greg and I talked it over and we did not want to let the kids down so we piled them all in the van and went to Metamora. It was a nice trip but the whole time we were worried that something was wrong with Dave. When we got home that evening we found that he was in a coma and his temp was over 110 degrees. We were so devastated. We made a decision not to let the kids go up for we felt in our heart that Dave would pull through...he had been through so much and came out just fine. But the morning of the 30th, Dave moved on to heaven where he felt no pain or hurt any longer. We miss him terribly but to have known David you knew a winner. He was truly a great man with a loving heart and giving manner. He always hugged you and made sure your glasses were smudged...his famous trademark...he would wet his thumbs and wipe them across your glasses before you knew what happened...again his famous trademark. I don't know any one person that Dave could not make friends with. He would be so proud of his children today. They are strong like their Dad and kind and giving. He instilled in them the love and caring that they share today.
Life with five children was always an adventure. I remember the year that Tabby broke her back and had to be in a body cast for three months (nicknamed Turtle) and then Jessica broke her ankle and thought her cast was a piggy bank...such fun when the cast came off after six weeks and they had to cut the quarters from the souls of her feet. Chris broke his neck during wrestling practice...he like his Dad pulled through it famously. It was a little difficult for him to girl watch but he managed...he was a teenager when it happened. As for Jake and Trina those two were always doing stuff together, climbing, jumping around, riding their bikes and having the time of their lives. Oh what memories I have of my lovely children...
For those of you who are now raising children, listen to this old gal the best thing in a child's life is when a parent puts that child before the housework (which is always there)...play with your children, take them to the park, swing with them, run with them and just enjoy them and you will see how much they love being with you as they grow older. I know you have to work and clean house too, but take time for your children it really is worth it!!
I will write more another day...thanks for enjoying my blogs...sorry for the misspelled words...God bless!
In 1986 my oldest brother David, was diagnosed with lukemia (sp?) and we all were devastated, not as much as David and his family. He was in a very fast moving cancer and the doctors felt they could zap it with chemo and radiation. Dave did the chemo for a while but it only made him sick and did not prolong his life. He knew this in May of 1987 and wanted to fill his childrens lives with so much and more. He had divorced the woman he loved with all his heart because she just was not happy in the marriage and could not stay with him. Chris was 9 years old and Trina was 4 years old and they did not understand totally what was happening. Dave and I had talked about taking a train ride to Metamora Indiana with the Girl Scout Troop that I was the leader for at the time. We planned it all out and the date we were going was the 29th of May. Dave bought all the lunch meat (he was a butcher by trade) and I bought the rest of the stuff for our trip food on the train to Metamora. Early that morning, my Mom called and said to stop and pick up the kids they were ready to go but Dave had a headache and fever and needed to go to the doctor. Greg and I talked it over and we did not want to let the kids down so we piled them all in the van and went to Metamora. It was a nice trip but the whole time we were worried that something was wrong with Dave. When we got home that evening we found that he was in a coma and his temp was over 110 degrees. We were so devastated. We made a decision not to let the kids go up for we felt in our heart that Dave would pull through...he had been through so much and came out just fine. But the morning of the 30th, Dave moved on to heaven where he felt no pain or hurt any longer. We miss him terribly but to have known David you knew a winner. He was truly a great man with a loving heart and giving manner. He always hugged you and made sure your glasses were smudged...his famous trademark...he would wet his thumbs and wipe them across your glasses before you knew what happened...again his famous trademark. I don't know any one person that Dave could not make friends with. He would be so proud of his children today. They are strong like their Dad and kind and giving. He instilled in them the love and caring that they share today.
Life with five children was always an adventure. I remember the year that Tabby broke her back and had to be in a body cast for three months (nicknamed Turtle) and then Jessica broke her ankle and thought her cast was a piggy bank...such fun when the cast came off after six weeks and they had to cut the quarters from the souls of her feet. Chris broke his neck during wrestling practice...he like his Dad pulled through it famously. It was a little difficult for him to girl watch but he managed...he was a teenager when it happened. As for Jake and Trina those two were always doing stuff together, climbing, jumping around, riding their bikes and having the time of their lives. Oh what memories I have of my lovely children...
For those of you who are now raising children, listen to this old gal the best thing in a child's life is when a parent puts that child before the housework (which is always there)...play with your children, take them to the park, swing with them, run with them and just enjoy them and you will see how much they love being with you as they grow older. I know you have to work and clean house too, but take time for your children it really is worth it!!
I will write more another day...thanks for enjoying my blogs...sorry for the misspelled words...God bless!
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