If life throws you a curve ball, hit it with all your might! If life gives you a bowl of cherries make sure there are no pitts. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you get until you bite into one. Lots of sayings can add a little different twist to the true meaning of LIFE. Your life may be not so interesting and not full of what you think are the "best things in life" and others may see your life as fun filled, interesting and wonderful! Step back from your life a moment, see yourself through others eyes and evalute how you feel about your life. It isn't easy, in fact it is quite hard to do... you may see so many things you want to change, so many things you want to erase .... why? Because it will make you a better person? Because it will bring more joy to your life...? Nope, don't think so. You see, I feel that your life is given to you by GOD, our Heavenly Father! I feel HE knows the path we will walk and yes I think HE does give us choices on which path we should take. HE guides each one of us on this path regardless of gender, race, religion or if we are poor or rich. HE guides each of us to a crossroads...there is a decision to make at this crossroads. HE gently gives to us a choice of which one HE would rather see us take and if we are listening very closely, we can hear HIS suggestion. If we take a different path, HE is still there, guiding, encouraging, loving and caring about us on our journey. Only HE knows what the outcome will be, Only HE knows what will happen.
My family over the past two years has been on such a journey. It started on June 28th, 2009 when my middle daughter decided she didn't want to be a mother any longer and left her three children and her husband (of less than a year) to go to Arkansas with her boyfriend. It sickens me to think that she would ever do this, but it happened. Once her decision was made, there was no turning back not for her not for us. Our oldest daughter stepped up knowing we could not handle three children and said she would raise the girls. We have the boy. Our lives have changed and changed forever. We did not hear from our middle daughter for a long time, now she is back in Ohio and we are trying to decide what path GOD wants us to walk.
Over the past approximate 18 months, these three children are stronger and more in control of their feelings. They are loved, cared for, protected and nurtured. They are given a chance at make good choices in their lives and have grown better at knowing who loves, cares and protects them. Tonight we did something that was very difficult we told our Zack about his mother being back in town. He didn't bat an eye but asked when he had to see her. We assured him that we will meet with her first and she will have to talk to the Therapists before we plan a visit. That seemed to reassure him we will protect him every step of the way. He knows we will not let her take him and that we have done of every measure at school, home and on the bus to protect him. He was happy to hear she could not remove him from the school and that he knew to go to an adult if she would show up there. The scary thing is, she will be living fairly close to his school...that pertrifies me. Thank goodness the school knows of this and will protect Z-man from her taking him. Our oldest girl found out from the day care that they could not keep JRH from getting the youngest girl from the day care but they could detain JRH and call our oldest girl and she in turn will call the police and keep JRH from taking the youngest out of day care. So scary! I just pray that JRH will realize how settled her kids are and just back off.
Yes, I know she is their biological mother and she has rights too, but she didn't think of that when she left. She didn't think of that when she neglected the children over the 5 years she had them. She didn't think of that when she let other men beat and abuse mostly Zack and JJ... She didn't put them first it was always her and her drugs and booze to keep herself going. She didn't not once put her kids first in her life. That is why it is so hard for me to accept the fact that she could have changed...that she could be responsible, that she could love them and treat them with respect, care for them properly, see to their needs. I don't think she can or ever will. Why you ask...well it is very hard for a leopard to change its' spots! The things she has said over the past two weeks just proves to me how inrresponsible she still is...
So many things have gone through my thoughts...do I sign a restraining order against her to protect us and Z-man? Do I call the courts and let them know that she is in town and would they like to talk to her about abandoning her kids? Do I call Children Services on her (yes she has another child now and he will be a year old in May). What do I do? How do I handle this. I am unsettled and fear she will fight for the girls and cause all kinds of grief which is unfair to the children and to our oldest girl. So my best thought is to turn it over to GOD, let HIM guide me in HIS special way and I must listen closely to hear HIS words of what will be best for the children.
I ask you to pray first for the children, then for my oldest girl and for our daughter JRH. I love them all and know in my heart what I think is best for the kids and I pray that it is GOD's way of telling me that is HIS way too!
My family over the past two years has been on such a journey. It started on June 28th, 2009 when my middle daughter decided she didn't want to be a mother any longer and left her three children and her husband (of less than a year) to go to Arkansas with her boyfriend. It sickens me to think that she would ever do this, but it happened. Once her decision was made, there was no turning back not for her not for us. Our oldest daughter stepped up knowing we could not handle three children and said she would raise the girls. We have the boy. Our lives have changed and changed forever. We did not hear from our middle daughter for a long time, now she is back in Ohio and we are trying to decide what path GOD wants us to walk.
Over the past approximate 18 months, these three children are stronger and more in control of their feelings. They are loved, cared for, protected and nurtured. They are given a chance at make good choices in their lives and have grown better at knowing who loves, cares and protects them. Tonight we did something that was very difficult we told our Zack about his mother being back in town. He didn't bat an eye but asked when he had to see her. We assured him that we will meet with her first and she will have to talk to the Therapists before we plan a visit. That seemed to reassure him we will protect him every step of the way. He knows we will not let her take him and that we have done of every measure at school, home and on the bus to protect him. He was happy to hear she could not remove him from the school and that he knew to go to an adult if she would show up there. The scary thing is, she will be living fairly close to his school...that pertrifies me. Thank goodness the school knows of this and will protect Z-man from her taking him. Our oldest girl found out from the day care that they could not keep JRH from getting the youngest girl from the day care but they could detain JRH and call our oldest girl and she in turn will call the police and keep JRH from taking the youngest out of day care. So scary! I just pray that JRH will realize how settled her kids are and just back off.
Yes, I know she is their biological mother and she has rights too, but she didn't think of that when she left. She didn't think of that when she neglected the children over the 5 years she had them. She didn't think of that when she let other men beat and abuse mostly Zack and JJ... She didn't put them first it was always her and her drugs and booze to keep herself going. She didn't not once put her kids first in her life. That is why it is so hard for me to accept the fact that she could have changed...that she could be responsible, that she could love them and treat them with respect, care for them properly, see to their needs. I don't think she can or ever will. Why you ask...well it is very hard for a leopard to change its' spots! The things she has said over the past two weeks just proves to me how inrresponsible she still is...
So many things have gone through my thoughts...do I sign a restraining order against her to protect us and Z-man? Do I call the courts and let them know that she is in town and would they like to talk to her about abandoning her kids? Do I call Children Services on her (yes she has another child now and he will be a year old in May). What do I do? How do I handle this. I am unsettled and fear she will fight for the girls and cause all kinds of grief which is unfair to the children and to our oldest girl. So my best thought is to turn it over to GOD, let HIM guide me in HIS special way and I must listen closely to hear HIS words of what will be best for the children.
I ask you to pray first for the children, then for my oldest girl and for our daughter JRH. I love them all and know in my heart what I think is best for the kids and I pray that it is GOD's way of telling me that is HIS way too!
I'm so sad about this situation. I know your heart breaks. Are you consulting with a lawyer that specializes in custody cases?
ReplyDeleteI will continue to pray about this situation and all involved. I've followed along as you've nurtured Zack and worked with him to provide the best home and education for him. I pray that God will provide a way for him to stay with you, at least until such a time as she has proven her ability to nurture them and put their interests first. I also pray that God will move in her life, and that she will choose the better path.