The anticipation of the coming Christmas holiday was very exciting. Zack was so ready for gifts and family. Greg was decorating a lot around the house and outside too. This year Greg added to our Christmas light display by making a sign stating Jesus is the Reason and then he made a very nice 3-D star. He has had a few issues over the past couple of weeks with the lights, but he climbs up on the roof and diligently works on them to keep the lights going for all to see. The house is decorated nicely and it feels good...it feels happy.
Christmas Eve we went with Tabby and Martin and the kids to Neiderman's Farm. It is a nice place where they have lights up and tell the story of Jesus and his birth. It was a very nice walk...thank goodness it wasn't snowing...the ground was pretty well covered already. From there we came home and tucked Zack in and prepared for Santa's arrival.
Christmas Day morning arrived, we had to wake Zack up to get him downstairs. When he finally came down, he opened his gifts and was surprised with them. I think he was a tad bit disappointed that he didn't get an X-Box 360 / Kinect but he did get a WII which I hope he starts to enjoy more. He received a lot of other nice gifts and then he gave a gift that means a lot to me. He and Greg bought a pencil/picture cube for Zack to put together. Zack did, he sanded it, varnished it and then put it all together. It is very nice and I love it. Trying to decide if I will take it to work or leave it here at home...not sure yet, but I do love it...
Time for the family to arrive, it was so nice to have four of my children under one roof again. Tabby, Trina, Jake and Chris filled my day with so much love and happiness I thank GOD every moment for it. Visiting with my grandchildren is always a special treat but having my oldest grandson Jacob T here was truly wonderful! I got a lot of hugs...I cannot tell you how happy I am from the lovely gift that I received yesterday...my family is very special to me and just made it perfect being together.
Thank you GOD for all that you do in my life. May it continue to give me strength to make it to the next day and continue to show me the way that you want me to take. THANK YOU GOD!!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
Hugs from Paula
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
First week of December 2010
What a week. Lots of positive happening in our lives and some negative too.
The negative is not always have enough money to do what we want, we pay bills and live with what we can but we get by and enjoy life as we can.
Now the positive, ZACK has a magnificent week at school all five days. That is a record for him. He is growing, learning and most of all controlling his behavior in a more positive manner. He feels the changes himself and the pride he shows is really wonderful! To think a year ago at this time we really were struggling and praying hard that things would turn around for him. It has take a full year for this transformation and we are truly blessed and thanking GOD on the highest!! I know there will be days/weeks/months that Zack isn't doing well but the days/week/months that he is, is a major celebration for him and he deserves it!!
Why the changes, we are not sure. I feel that things are just starting to click for him. He is beginning to realize that there is structure and it is not going to change. There is stability and we have proven that with our lifestyle and with a very positive team of folks who help Zack everyday. There is an over abundance of love...Zack tells us he loves us a lot each and every day. We tell him too! Lots of hugs and kisses. There is GOD who believes in Zack and is showing us how to guide Zack in life. It isn't always going to be wonderful and great for him but each and every positive is one step closer to a better life for him as he grows older.
We have not heard anything from the natural Mom since my last posting and that is fine. She can just be happy in Arkansas with the choices she has made and we are delighted to have Zack, Katie and Jadden shining a special light of love in our lives.
So what are you doing for Christmas? Do you have any traditions? I would love to start some...especially for the grandbabies. My parents really didn't have a tradition that I can share, but they were always good to us and our Christmas was celebrated with our family, Aunts/Uncles/Grandparents and friends. I remember visiting my Grandpa Lucas' house and each family had a Christmas tree and under it was packed with presents from Santa. Their was always something special but one Christmas I received glass procelein dolls from around the world and just fell in love with them. I begged my Dad to build shelves above my drapes in my bedroom or a shelf so I could display them, he never did and they got broke and finally tossed away. I had twelve dolls and they were beautiful but I think Switzerland was the best one, she was just beautiful. They were the size of a Barbie doll and immaculately dressed. Wish I had those dolls today...not for the dollar value but for the sentimental value. My Grandpa died that next spring and we did not have another Christmas with his family again. Sad but true.
Well I shall sign off for now. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and my ramblings.
May God shine His light upon you, May you carry in your heart His everlasting love and share it with others around you!
Hugs!
Paula
The negative is not always have enough money to do what we want, we pay bills and live with what we can but we get by and enjoy life as we can.
Now the positive, ZACK has a magnificent week at school all five days. That is a record for him. He is growing, learning and most of all controlling his behavior in a more positive manner. He feels the changes himself and the pride he shows is really wonderful! To think a year ago at this time we really were struggling and praying hard that things would turn around for him. It has take a full year for this transformation and we are truly blessed and thanking GOD on the highest!! I know there will be days/weeks/months that Zack isn't doing well but the days/week/months that he is, is a major celebration for him and he deserves it!!
Why the changes, we are not sure. I feel that things are just starting to click for him. He is beginning to realize that there is structure and it is not going to change. There is stability and we have proven that with our lifestyle and with a very positive team of folks who help Zack everyday. There is an over abundance of love...Zack tells us he loves us a lot each and every day. We tell him too! Lots of hugs and kisses. There is GOD who believes in Zack and is showing us how to guide Zack in life. It isn't always going to be wonderful and great for him but each and every positive is one step closer to a better life for him as he grows older.
We have not heard anything from the natural Mom since my last posting and that is fine. She can just be happy in Arkansas with the choices she has made and we are delighted to have Zack, Katie and Jadden shining a special light of love in our lives.
So what are you doing for Christmas? Do you have any traditions? I would love to start some...especially for the grandbabies. My parents really didn't have a tradition that I can share, but they were always good to us and our Christmas was celebrated with our family, Aunts/Uncles/Grandparents and friends. I remember visiting my Grandpa Lucas' house and each family had a Christmas tree and under it was packed with presents from Santa. Their was always something special but one Christmas I received glass procelein dolls from around the world and just fell in love with them. I begged my Dad to build shelves above my drapes in my bedroom or a shelf so I could display them, he never did and they got broke and finally tossed away. I had twelve dolls and they were beautiful but I think Switzerland was the best one, she was just beautiful. They were the size of a Barbie doll and immaculately dressed. Wish I had those dolls today...not for the dollar value but for the sentimental value. My Grandpa died that next spring and we did not have another Christmas with his family again. Sad but true.
Well I shall sign off for now. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and my ramblings.
May God shine His light upon you, May you carry in your heart His everlasting love and share it with others around you!
Hugs!
Paula
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
December 1, 2010
Okay, what a day this has been. Beautiful is one word that comes to mind then gorgeous. We had snow today, the first official snow and we got about half and inch or so but it is so beautiful and I can't wait for more. Yes, I know you are thinking "This lady is nuts!" I am not, I just love the snow that is it...it is clean, fresh and when it falls it makes the world such a quiet place. The snow glistens in the sunlight and it is so pretty...like little diamonds on the ground. Zack came home from school and was outside playing in it. He and his Papaw walk down to the creek most every day that it is not raining and check the progress of the road. Today they walked and really had a nice time of it with the snowflakes falling around them.
I had some interesting moments the other night. I sent JRH a text message and she didn't know who I was. I had been told by a special friend that she was not with that guy any longer but found that to be untrue. Games is all they like to play and it is sad. She was hateful and really ugly and I have decided that she can be that way but I am not. I will not subject myself to her actions or anything about her again. I love her for she is my daughter and I carried her 10 months in my body and enjoyed her until she turned against her family as she did all because of a man...so as I said, I am done. I am sad about it but I know in the long run it is better for my peace of mind and my lifestyle. She is going to find out the hard way that she doesn't have any rights with these children and if push comes to shove, I pray I win---for Zack's sake!
We had a fire at work today. It was in the compounding area which is not close to our offices, but everyone had to be evacuated...including our production folks. It was snowing, it was blowing, it was cold and we had to go out as far away from the building as we could. We were out there a good 30-40 minutes...most of us could get our coats and head out the door...a lot of people were not able to get their coats...and they were pretty cold. Thank goodness they were permitted to get into their cars and sit and stay warm. The fire didn't do any damage which we are all thankful for.
Take care and thank you for taking a moment to read my ramblings...I love having a place I can write and get my feelings out...helps to heal the hurt and I get a lot of suggestions from caring folks!!
Hugs and GOD BLESS YOU!! Jesus is the Reason for the Season!
I had some interesting moments the other night. I sent JRH a text message and she didn't know who I was. I had been told by a special friend that she was not with that guy any longer but found that to be untrue. Games is all they like to play and it is sad. She was hateful and really ugly and I have decided that she can be that way but I am not. I will not subject myself to her actions or anything about her again. I love her for she is my daughter and I carried her 10 months in my body and enjoyed her until she turned against her family as she did all because of a man...so as I said, I am done. I am sad about it but I know in the long run it is better for my peace of mind and my lifestyle. She is going to find out the hard way that she doesn't have any rights with these children and if push comes to shove, I pray I win---for Zack's sake!
We had a fire at work today. It was in the compounding area which is not close to our offices, but everyone had to be evacuated...including our production folks. It was snowing, it was blowing, it was cold and we had to go out as far away from the building as we could. We were out there a good 30-40 minutes...most of us could get our coats and head out the door...a lot of people were not able to get their coats...and they were pretty cold. Thank goodness they were permitted to get into their cars and sit and stay warm. The fire didn't do any damage which we are all thankful for.
Take care and thank you for taking a moment to read my ramblings...I love having a place I can write and get my feelings out...helps to heal the hurt and I get a lot of suggestions from caring folks!!
Hugs and GOD BLESS YOU!! Jesus is the Reason for the Season!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Preparing for the holidays
Well, it has been a busy week at the Hahn house. Preparing the house for Christmas and bringing in the holiday with cheer and happiness. Two trees are up and decorated working on the backroom tree and hopefully will get more accomplished before the 18th of December when Hahn-A-Days is happening. That is a time when family and friends pop in for a bit to visit and add to the Christmas Spirit in our home. I can't wait for it always is so nice to see family and friends!!
Zack is doing fair at school. He has had a few rough days and the counselor called me worried about a comment he made to her. He told her that once he is kicked out of this school, we will force him to go to Arkansas and live with his Mom. That is so untrue, we have never told him that and where he came up with that comment we don't know. We want him to live with us, to grow with us and most of all to be happy and safe. He is such a special little boy who misses his Mom a lot, he knows if he stayed with her he would not be happy he has told us that...but that does not take away his pain of missing his Mom. She is still writing letters, but we do not read them to him because he has had some emotional break downs and we do not want him to revert to being angry as he was last year. It is tough, I can't ever imagine that feeling of being left behind and not seeing your Mom for almost two years. She doesn't call at all and it is probably for the best...he has overcome a lot since she left and he has a long way to go.
The Special Education Coordinator from Warren County had a meeting with us and she suggested we put Zack in a new school come January 2011. It is for his speech and social behavior and deals with Autisum on a more extreme measure. The school he is in right now is mostly for behavior issue children and doesn't focus on the Autistic child. With the comment that he made to Ms. Heather, we are unsure if it would be a wise move to send him to the new school or not. I feel it would be very very good for his speech and social but would he feel he failed at the school he is in right now? Greg wants to wait until the fall next but I feel it would be more helpful this year...like I said it is a hard decision to make and what will be best for Zack. Keep Zack and us in your prayers guiding us the right way...
Well I received a call from a friend telling me that she is worried about Jessica for she had text messaged her wishing her a happy holiday. Chris (the man Jessica left with) called this friend back letting her know that he has no clue where Jessica is and if she would happen to hear from her, tell her to get with him about her junk. WOW...what is going on, where is she at? Is she back in Ohio? Will she just show up at the house unexpectedly? Did she have other children? So many unanswered questions and so little information to go on. I text messaged her old phone number but no call from the creep telling me he doesn't know where she is. Why is this going on? Where is she? Is she okay? I sure hope so but I don't want her around the kids...
On a lighter note...Christmas is only four weeks away...hope you are finding the Spirit within your heart to share with others. It is going to be a glorious time in our lives...
Jesus is the reason for this glorious time!! Celebrate His Birth...
Hugs!!
Zack is doing fair at school. He has had a few rough days and the counselor called me worried about a comment he made to her. He told her that once he is kicked out of this school, we will force him to go to Arkansas and live with his Mom. That is so untrue, we have never told him that and where he came up with that comment we don't know. We want him to live with us, to grow with us and most of all to be happy and safe. He is such a special little boy who misses his Mom a lot, he knows if he stayed with her he would not be happy he has told us that...but that does not take away his pain of missing his Mom. She is still writing letters, but we do not read them to him because he has had some emotional break downs and we do not want him to revert to being angry as he was last year. It is tough, I can't ever imagine that feeling of being left behind and not seeing your Mom for almost two years. She doesn't call at all and it is probably for the best...he has overcome a lot since she left and he has a long way to go.
The Special Education Coordinator from Warren County had a meeting with us and she suggested we put Zack in a new school come January 2011. It is for his speech and social behavior and deals with Autisum on a more extreme measure. The school he is in right now is mostly for behavior issue children and doesn't focus on the Autistic child. With the comment that he made to Ms. Heather, we are unsure if it would be a wise move to send him to the new school or not. I feel it would be very very good for his speech and social but would he feel he failed at the school he is in right now? Greg wants to wait until the fall next but I feel it would be more helpful this year...like I said it is a hard decision to make and what will be best for Zack. Keep Zack and us in your prayers guiding us the right way...
Well I received a call from a friend telling me that she is worried about Jessica for she had text messaged her wishing her a happy holiday. Chris (the man Jessica left with) called this friend back letting her know that he has no clue where Jessica is and if she would happen to hear from her, tell her to get with him about her junk. WOW...what is going on, where is she at? Is she back in Ohio? Will she just show up at the house unexpectedly? Did she have other children? So many unanswered questions and so little information to go on. I text messaged her old phone number but no call from the creep telling me he doesn't know where she is. Why is this going on? Where is she? Is she okay? I sure hope so but I don't want her around the kids...
On a lighter note...Christmas is only four weeks away...hope you are finding the Spirit within your heart to share with others. It is going to be a glorious time in our lives...
Jesus is the reason for this glorious time!! Celebrate His Birth...
Hugs!!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Winter is close upon us...
October is past and November is upon us. The cold wind has been blowing today with rain and a threat of "snow showers" tomorrow when we wake up. I am not sure if I am ready for that but I guess I best get there.
Tonight while working with Z-man on getting his toys picked up in his room (there was not a place that did not have a Lego on the floor) he talked about the cold weather and when could we expect snow so Santa could come. I just laughed and said it wasn't Christmas yet we had to have Thanksgiving first and then we would work towards Christmas and Santa. He didn't seem to understand that and said he wanted it to be Christmas because his Mom might come to visit. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I know it has to be so hard on this little boy missing his Mom like he does but it came out of no where and really set me to thinking. This child has missed one Christmas without his Mom and doesn't realize he will probably miss more...especially this year. How do I tell him that? How do I explain it? So far we have always tried to be truthful and up front with what happened and try to explain what we feel about it all and let him talk out his feelings. He knows she left with her boyfriend, Chris and that Chris was abusive and not a very nice man. He knows she lives in Arkansas which is far away from Ohio and takes at least a day to get here. He also knows that she has been writing letters (3 to date) and gets to read each one. But that doesn't help me to explain to him why she won't make it this year for a very important holiday in his life.
I lifted this up in prayer to GOD and asked Him to help me find the right words. I feel in my heart that God just wants me to tell him the truth and guide him with love and understanding and give him all I can and that will help Z-man through this tough time. We shall see what the holiday brings but I hope it is not disappointment to Z-man or the girls.
We had our parent-teachers meeting and Z-man is on the A/B Honor Roll...he is doing quite well. We are very proud of him for he has come so far in a year. This time last year HE was really struggling with just staying in school, now he is there all day and has a few behavior issues...but all in all he is getting better and that is what we wanted to see. I feel he will be at this school for at least two more years, maybe longer but that is okay, they feel his needs and he feels secure and happy there. We adore his teacher for she takes a lot of extra time with him (and the other five students) to show him and guide him for a better education. We are truly blessed.
School pictures are in and they are adorable. Jadden's makes her look so grown up and Zack's shows his spectacular smile and you can see the twinkle of mischief in his eyes.
God be with you as you go through your days. Remember to lean on HIM for HE is there for us...we are His children and like a good Father, He is willing to love us and guide us to the what is best for us. We must be open to hear His calling!
Tonight while working with Z-man on getting his toys picked up in his room (there was not a place that did not have a Lego on the floor) he talked about the cold weather and when could we expect snow so Santa could come. I just laughed and said it wasn't Christmas yet we had to have Thanksgiving first and then we would work towards Christmas and Santa. He didn't seem to understand that and said he wanted it to be Christmas because his Mom might come to visit. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I know it has to be so hard on this little boy missing his Mom like he does but it came out of no where and really set me to thinking. This child has missed one Christmas without his Mom and doesn't realize he will probably miss more...especially this year. How do I tell him that? How do I explain it? So far we have always tried to be truthful and up front with what happened and try to explain what we feel about it all and let him talk out his feelings. He knows she left with her boyfriend, Chris and that Chris was abusive and not a very nice man. He knows she lives in Arkansas which is far away from Ohio and takes at least a day to get here. He also knows that she has been writing letters (3 to date) and gets to read each one. But that doesn't help me to explain to him why she won't make it this year for a very important holiday in his life.
I lifted this up in prayer to GOD and asked Him to help me find the right words. I feel in my heart that God just wants me to tell him the truth and guide him with love and understanding and give him all I can and that will help Z-man through this tough time. We shall see what the holiday brings but I hope it is not disappointment to Z-man or the girls.
We had our parent-teachers meeting and Z-man is on the A/B Honor Roll...he is doing quite well. We are very proud of him for he has come so far in a year. This time last year HE was really struggling with just staying in school, now he is there all day and has a few behavior issues...but all in all he is getting better and that is what we wanted to see. I feel he will be at this school for at least two more years, maybe longer but that is okay, they feel his needs and he feels secure and happy there. We adore his teacher for she takes a lot of extra time with him (and the other five students) to show him and guide him for a better education. We are truly blessed.
School pictures are in and they are adorable. Jadden's makes her look so grown up and Zack's shows his spectacular smile and you can see the twinkle of mischief in his eyes.
God be with you as you go through your days. Remember to lean on HIM for HE is there for us...we are His children and like a good Father, He is willing to love us and guide us to the what is best for us. We must be open to hear His calling!
Monday, October 18, 2010
The day will come
Yes, the day will come when Zack will find his place in life and be the person that HE wants to be. He will be a proud young man and do what is right for God and himself. We are teaching him to put GOD first in his life. It is hard but with time and patience he too shall learn.
How many times are we impatient for something to be "done", to be "fixed" and how many times have lost our patience because it wasn't done when "We thought it should be done"??? I ask you this question for you to think of the times that you lost your patience with your children, spouse, co worker, friend and yourself because things were not getting done in "your" time frame. Think about that for a moment while I continue...
I am a stickler for being on-time. I am most always early to work, I like being early to an event, I like to be on time to a doctor's appointment or something special. I don't like being late. Call it a phobia for me that being late is a crime. Being late is the worst that can happen to me...at my age you would think I would learn...I haven't yet. You all may laugh but I am truly a stickler for being early, you can ask my family, they know me and what I expected when they were young and as they grew older. "Be on time" was something I drilled into their brains! I slowly learning that being on time is good but if I am late it is not a crime and the world will not stop turning because I am late. I am working on it and will improve with time...I know I best hurry...I am not getting any younger!
This past 15 months has opened my eyes to exactly what I have expected of myself, Greg and my children. Boy, was I wrong to expect too much but then not enough...it is a catch 22 that I have been caught up in for way too long. Zack has taught (and still teaching) me a lot of things that I needed to rethink and to stop before I act upon my feelings. It is hard for I have always been a person who speaks her mind and feels comfortable with the results. How wrong I have been. Zack again has shown me that I must say what I mean and mean what I say. For instance, I want him to pick up his clothes, I must say exactly what I want him to do or he will do something entirely different. Having a child with Autisum has shown me that all things are possible if you take the right steps and not to set a time frame or expect too little or too much of them. It is a long journey for both of us but I think the end result will be the best for him. I look back at last year at this time and we were at our wits end. Today his school report showed he did not use anger to solve a problem, he just walked away and kept his hands to himself. For Zack that is a great milestone. I must say also that Zack has only missed 2 days so far this school year, compared to 17 from last year. He was sent home more times than he was in school for his aggressive behavior. He has improved quite a bit but still has a long road ahead of him...but the right steps are there and he sees them. Just learning to take the right steps is a challenge but I see him doing it! I am proud of him and he has truly shown that with God all things are possible for at this time last year I was doubting if I was the best choice to raise him...I am happy that we hung in there and found the right people to help us out...it has really improved him and me also!
Remember when I asked earlier in this blog if you get impatient when things are not done in YOUR time frame?? Try working with a child whose time frame is entirely different in his mind. His insight to things are eye openers. He shows me that I can't get impatient and expect him to complete it as I want it completed, I have to be more open to how he sees it being completed that I must wait it out and good things will come. Do you do this with GOD and your prayers? Do you pray expecting GOD to answer you and give you what you want? Regardless of the prayer being answered as you wanted, how about the time frame? Do you expect a quick response from GOD? Most of us will say yes, but if we think like Zack does, time is not what is most important it is the quality of the prayer that is most important and waiting for it to be answered as GOD feels best it to be answered. We are way too impatient and expect too much from GOD!! Why not step back and say your prayer and wait for HIM to show you the answer. It may not be as long as you think, especially if you trust in HIM and know that GOD will answer ALL prayers no matter how big or small they are, HE does answer them. We are HIS children and He does not get impatient or upset with us because we do not do it in HIS time. He is patient and kind and shows us every day that HE does work miracles everyday in our lives, we just have to be open enough to realize what HE has done and thank HIM for HIS good deeds in our lives. Zack has made me realize how GOD has truly worked in his young life. At 7 he has seen more than I have ever seen when it comes to anger, hatred, lies, drugs, booze and God only knows what else. At 7 he is struggling to overcome his past and be a better person. Every day that he has is a blessed one and I am so grateful that GOD gives me the strength to be one of the people guiding his young steps in life. He truly is a blessing from GOD and I thank GOD everyday that he is a part of our lives. I know one day he is going to grow up and move away but the time that I have with Zack right now will always have a special place in my heart. He truly is an angel sent from heaven to show me one of GOD's miracles of life!
Thank you for taking the time to read this post, I pray that you are patient and kind with those who are in your life. Take a moment and thank one person a day this week for something that they do special for you. It could be a co worker who just shared a smile or your spouse unloading the washer, or one of your children taking out the trash, or God painting the trees the lovely colors of fall! We are all truly blessed by God's many wonderful blessings in our lives! God Bless you!
How many times are we impatient for something to be "done", to be "fixed" and how many times have lost our patience because it wasn't done when "We thought it should be done"??? I ask you this question for you to think of the times that you lost your patience with your children, spouse, co worker, friend and yourself because things were not getting done in "your" time frame. Think about that for a moment while I continue...
I am a stickler for being on-time. I am most always early to work, I like being early to an event, I like to be on time to a doctor's appointment or something special. I don't like being late. Call it a phobia for me that being late is a crime. Being late is the worst that can happen to me...at my age you would think I would learn...I haven't yet. You all may laugh but I am truly a stickler for being early, you can ask my family, they know me and what I expected when they were young and as they grew older. "Be on time" was something I drilled into their brains! I slowly learning that being on time is good but if I am late it is not a crime and the world will not stop turning because I am late. I am working on it and will improve with time...I know I best hurry...I am not getting any younger!
This past 15 months has opened my eyes to exactly what I have expected of myself, Greg and my children. Boy, was I wrong to expect too much but then not enough...it is a catch 22 that I have been caught up in for way too long. Zack has taught (and still teaching) me a lot of things that I needed to rethink and to stop before I act upon my feelings. It is hard for I have always been a person who speaks her mind and feels comfortable with the results. How wrong I have been. Zack again has shown me that I must say what I mean and mean what I say. For instance, I want him to pick up his clothes, I must say exactly what I want him to do or he will do something entirely different. Having a child with Autisum has shown me that all things are possible if you take the right steps and not to set a time frame or expect too little or too much of them. It is a long journey for both of us but I think the end result will be the best for him. I look back at last year at this time and we were at our wits end. Today his school report showed he did not use anger to solve a problem, he just walked away and kept his hands to himself. For Zack that is a great milestone. I must say also that Zack has only missed 2 days so far this school year, compared to 17 from last year. He was sent home more times than he was in school for his aggressive behavior. He has improved quite a bit but still has a long road ahead of him...but the right steps are there and he sees them. Just learning to take the right steps is a challenge but I see him doing it! I am proud of him and he has truly shown that with God all things are possible for at this time last year I was doubting if I was the best choice to raise him...I am happy that we hung in there and found the right people to help us out...it has really improved him and me also!
Remember when I asked earlier in this blog if you get impatient when things are not done in YOUR time frame?? Try working with a child whose time frame is entirely different in his mind. His insight to things are eye openers. He shows me that I can't get impatient and expect him to complete it as I want it completed, I have to be more open to how he sees it being completed that I must wait it out and good things will come. Do you do this with GOD and your prayers? Do you pray expecting GOD to answer you and give you what you want? Regardless of the prayer being answered as you wanted, how about the time frame? Do you expect a quick response from GOD? Most of us will say yes, but if we think like Zack does, time is not what is most important it is the quality of the prayer that is most important and waiting for it to be answered as GOD feels best it to be answered. We are way too impatient and expect too much from GOD!! Why not step back and say your prayer and wait for HIM to show you the answer. It may not be as long as you think, especially if you trust in HIM and know that GOD will answer ALL prayers no matter how big or small they are, HE does answer them. We are HIS children and He does not get impatient or upset with us because we do not do it in HIS time. He is patient and kind and shows us every day that HE does work miracles everyday in our lives, we just have to be open enough to realize what HE has done and thank HIM for HIS good deeds in our lives. Zack has made me realize how GOD has truly worked in his young life. At 7 he has seen more than I have ever seen when it comes to anger, hatred, lies, drugs, booze and God only knows what else. At 7 he is struggling to overcome his past and be a better person. Every day that he has is a blessed one and I am so grateful that GOD gives me the strength to be one of the people guiding his young steps in life. He truly is a blessing from GOD and I thank GOD everyday that he is a part of our lives. I know one day he is going to grow up and move away but the time that I have with Zack right now will always have a special place in my heart. He truly is an angel sent from heaven to show me one of GOD's miracles of life!
Thank you for taking the time to read this post, I pray that you are patient and kind with those who are in your life. Take a moment and thank one person a day this week for something that they do special for you. It could be a co worker who just shared a smile or your spouse unloading the washer, or one of your children taking out the trash, or God painting the trees the lovely colors of fall! We are all truly blessed by God's many wonderful blessings in our lives! God Bless you!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The letters
Today, October 13, 2010 we received a letter from the kids Mom. It was a decent letter but still heart breaking too. She wants to plan a visit in March of 2011 (why so long, I ask). She also wants to know what she can get the children for birthdays and Christmas's that she has missed. How does one tell her that the gifts are not needed? How does one tell her that the greatest gift that she could have given her children was her? How does one tell her that the life that she had with the children is over and a thing of the past and make her understand? Maybe she does understand and is trying to make things up as she writes each letter. For so long (I am talking about 9 months) we did not hear from her now all of a sudden two letters within about two weeks of each other for the children. Troubling, what is she trying to do? Will she try to regain custody? Is there an underlying motive to all this communication that she is doing? We (Greg, Tabby and I) read the letters and if we feel okay we let the children know of them and read them to the kids. So far, Zack has been the only one able to understand and cope with the letters. The counselor for the girls feel it best (so do I) that it is not a good thing right now and to save them for later when the girls are a bit older and stronger to understand all this mess that was created in their young lives.
Sunday, we enjoyed an afternoon at Ren-Festival in Waynesville Ohio. It started out as a long trip...same day as the Sauerkraut Festival and we had to go through a lot of traffic just to get to Ren-Fest. Once we arrived there, we planned out a strategy to see as much as we could. The kids were great...they had a blast. We got to see a man tossing around fire, ride a camel, watch a baby dragon come to life, ride in a big swing, go through a large maze with a slide at the end, go around a May-pole and see a real live joust. We wanted to see the mud show but just did not make it to that event...maybe next year. There were a lot of people dressed in era and a few women were a little too showy...a friend of mine would have really enjoyed seeing those women!! All in all we were given a very nice day not only weather wise but being there was fun. Thanks to Tabby and Martin for coming up with this idea and to Greg for getting a free ticket! That place can be very expensive...
Halloween is quickly approaching and Zack has told me he has his costume already. Tabby, Martin and the girls are going as characters from Alice in Wonderland 2010. I can't wait to see them dressed up and together...you can bet I will be taking pictures of them. We will work on Zack's costume this weekend...can you believe today is the 13th!! Unreal...where has October gone?
Thank you for reading my thoughts and checking out how things are for our special family! God has blessed us in so many ways and we are truly thankful!! So long for now...I will post more soon!
Sunday, we enjoyed an afternoon at Ren-Festival in Waynesville Ohio. It started out as a long trip...same day as the Sauerkraut Festival and we had to go through a lot of traffic just to get to Ren-Fest. Once we arrived there, we planned out a strategy to see as much as we could. The kids were great...they had a blast. We got to see a man tossing around fire, ride a camel, watch a baby dragon come to life, ride in a big swing, go through a large maze with a slide at the end, go around a May-pole and see a real live joust. We wanted to see the mud show but just did not make it to that event...maybe next year. There were a lot of people dressed in era and a few women were a little too showy...a friend of mine would have really enjoyed seeing those women!! All in all we were given a very nice day not only weather wise but being there was fun. Thanks to Tabby and Martin for coming up with this idea and to Greg for getting a free ticket! That place can be very expensive...
Halloween is quickly approaching and Zack has told me he has his costume already. Tabby, Martin and the girls are going as characters from Alice in Wonderland 2010. I can't wait to see them dressed up and together...you can bet I will be taking pictures of them. We will work on Zack's costume this weekend...can you believe today is the 13th!! Unreal...where has October gone?
Thank you for reading my thoughts and checking out how things are for our special family! God has blessed us in so many ways and we are truly thankful!! So long for now...I will post more soon!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Onward and Upward
With GOD at the helm we can do anything...as long as we listen to HIS commands. I have always tried to live by this one sentence for I believe wholeheartedly in GOD and His wonderful love for me. I can't say I have never sinned for I have, I am human and it is just a fact of life, you will sin. It is what you do after the sin is committed that means more to GOD than the sin itself. Life keeps moving forward and sometimes it feels like just yesterday is was 1979 and we were having our first child...so much has happened in our lives but we accept the downfalls, the challenges and the triumphs and praise GOD daily for all HIS love and great works in our lives.
In 1986 my oldest brother David, was diagnosed with lukemia (sp?) and we all were devastated, not as much as David and his family. He was in a very fast moving cancer and the doctors felt they could zap it with chemo and radiation. Dave did the chemo for a while but it only made him sick and did not prolong his life. He knew this in May of 1987 and wanted to fill his childrens lives with so much and more. He had divorced the woman he loved with all his heart because she just was not happy in the marriage and could not stay with him. Chris was 9 years old and Trina was 4 years old and they did not understand totally what was happening. Dave and I had talked about taking a train ride to Metamora Indiana with the Girl Scout Troop that I was the leader for at the time. We planned it all out and the date we were going was the 29th of May. Dave bought all the lunch meat (he was a butcher by trade) and I bought the rest of the stuff for our trip food on the train to Metamora. Early that morning, my Mom called and said to stop and pick up the kids they were ready to go but Dave had a headache and fever and needed to go to the doctor. Greg and I talked it over and we did not want to let the kids down so we piled them all in the van and went to Metamora. It was a nice trip but the whole time we were worried that something was wrong with Dave. When we got home that evening we found that he was in a coma and his temp was over 110 degrees. We were so devastated. We made a decision not to let the kids go up for we felt in our heart that Dave would pull through...he had been through so much and came out just fine. But the morning of the 30th, Dave moved on to heaven where he felt no pain or hurt any longer. We miss him terribly but to have known David you knew a winner. He was truly a great man with a loving heart and giving manner. He always hugged you and made sure your glasses were smudged...his famous trademark...he would wet his thumbs and wipe them across your glasses before you knew what happened...again his famous trademark. I don't know any one person that Dave could not make friends with. He would be so proud of his children today. They are strong like their Dad and kind and giving. He instilled in them the love and caring that they share today.
Life with five children was always an adventure. I remember the year that Tabby broke her back and had to be in a body cast for three months (nicknamed Turtle) and then Jessica broke her ankle and thought her cast was a piggy bank...such fun when the cast came off after six weeks and they had to cut the quarters from the souls of her feet. Chris broke his neck during wrestling practice...he like his Dad pulled through it famously. It was a little difficult for him to girl watch but he managed...he was a teenager when it happened. As for Jake and Trina those two were always doing stuff together, climbing, jumping around, riding their bikes and having the time of their lives. Oh what memories I have of my lovely children...
For those of you who are now raising children, listen to this old gal the best thing in a child's life is when a parent puts that child before the housework (which is always there)...play with your children, take them to the park, swing with them, run with them and just enjoy them and you will see how much they love being with you as they grow older. I know you have to work and clean house too, but take time for your children it really is worth it!!
I will write more another day...thanks for enjoying my blogs...sorry for the misspelled words...God bless!
In 1986 my oldest brother David, was diagnosed with lukemia (sp?) and we all were devastated, not as much as David and his family. He was in a very fast moving cancer and the doctors felt they could zap it with chemo and radiation. Dave did the chemo for a while but it only made him sick and did not prolong his life. He knew this in May of 1987 and wanted to fill his childrens lives with so much and more. He had divorced the woman he loved with all his heart because she just was not happy in the marriage and could not stay with him. Chris was 9 years old and Trina was 4 years old and they did not understand totally what was happening. Dave and I had talked about taking a train ride to Metamora Indiana with the Girl Scout Troop that I was the leader for at the time. We planned it all out and the date we were going was the 29th of May. Dave bought all the lunch meat (he was a butcher by trade) and I bought the rest of the stuff for our trip food on the train to Metamora. Early that morning, my Mom called and said to stop and pick up the kids they were ready to go but Dave had a headache and fever and needed to go to the doctor. Greg and I talked it over and we did not want to let the kids down so we piled them all in the van and went to Metamora. It was a nice trip but the whole time we were worried that something was wrong with Dave. When we got home that evening we found that he was in a coma and his temp was over 110 degrees. We were so devastated. We made a decision not to let the kids go up for we felt in our heart that Dave would pull through...he had been through so much and came out just fine. But the morning of the 30th, Dave moved on to heaven where he felt no pain or hurt any longer. We miss him terribly but to have known David you knew a winner. He was truly a great man with a loving heart and giving manner. He always hugged you and made sure your glasses were smudged...his famous trademark...he would wet his thumbs and wipe them across your glasses before you knew what happened...again his famous trademark. I don't know any one person that Dave could not make friends with. He would be so proud of his children today. They are strong like their Dad and kind and giving. He instilled in them the love and caring that they share today.
Life with five children was always an adventure. I remember the year that Tabby broke her back and had to be in a body cast for three months (nicknamed Turtle) and then Jessica broke her ankle and thought her cast was a piggy bank...such fun when the cast came off after six weeks and they had to cut the quarters from the souls of her feet. Chris broke his neck during wrestling practice...he like his Dad pulled through it famously. It was a little difficult for him to girl watch but he managed...he was a teenager when it happened. As for Jake and Trina those two were always doing stuff together, climbing, jumping around, riding their bikes and having the time of their lives. Oh what memories I have of my lovely children...
For those of you who are now raising children, listen to this old gal the best thing in a child's life is when a parent puts that child before the housework (which is always there)...play with your children, take them to the park, swing with them, run with them and just enjoy them and you will see how much they love being with you as they grow older. I know you have to work and clean house too, but take time for your children it really is worth it!!
I will write more another day...thanks for enjoying my blogs...sorry for the misspelled words...God bless!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
In the beginning...
Greg and I just recently celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary quietly at home. We looked back on our life together and realize all that we have to be grateful for. We have five wonderful children who have given to us a wonderful togetherness and made our life more complete. Our grandchildren are God's little bonuses that we appreciate a lot.
Our life together started in May of 1974 when Dave Kelly's car broke down and Greg gave me a ride home. Being a rather shy person, he asked me for my phone number and from there we started dating on a very steady basis. We had a lot of fun together. In Sept of 1975 we married and have been enjoying each other since.
I am going to jump ahead quite a few years to 2009, June 28th to be exact. This is the day that our middle daughter Jessica decided it was time to dump her kids and head out with the boyfriend whom she had been with all through her marriage to Kent. It is sad but true, she just could not stand being away from Kent but when they were married everything just seem to fall apart. They lived with us off and on for about a year and in their van quite a bit too. Zack has told me horror stories of how his Mom's boyfriends would beat on him or kick him in the head to punish him and his Mom would do nothing about it. Such a sad time for a six year old kid to deal with all of that. Kent tried but he just gave up, he could not handle the stress any longer and left. He called from time to time to see Zack and the girls but it just wasn't consistent enough. On the 28th Jess seemed angry and upset about something. I fixed a nice dinner for all of us (Jess, the kids, Tabby, Greg too but he was working), and Zack and Jadden always fussed as to who was going to sit where and it was no different that dinner time meal. Jess asked Zack to sit beside her and he got very upset. To keep peace I asked Zack to sit by his Mom for she needed him to and he did but he was happy about it. She got upset and screamed at the kids constantly and Tabby could not stand to hear any more she took her plate and went to her room. After about 10 minutes (or less) Jess got up, went upstairs and told Tabby since she was a perfect MOM she could have her kids, threw two boxes of clothes at her and stomped downstairs. She grabbed Zack by the throat and dragged him out of the house. Poor kid he was screaming for her to stop and so scared. Nothing I could do her say would stop her. I got my cell phone for I was calling the police and Tabby came downstairs shouting at her to stop. Jess of course didn't. She went to Kent's place and threw Zack at him with two boxes of clothes and left. She never returned to our house. Kent called me and said he was bringing Zack back to our house for he was so upset. I told him that was fine and bring him home. Zack was bruised and upset. We got him ready and in bed along with the girls and then sat down and talked out our plan of how things were going to go with all of this. Kent stayed overnight and watched the kids the next day since Greg, Tabby and I had to work and we needed a sitter. Jessica called the next day stating she was heading to Arkansas where she is going to get a good job and good luck with the kids. Tabby called Children Services and they came over on Monday night to talk to us about our options and what we should do. We contacted an attorney who would represent the children and Greg, Tabby and I for full custody so we could get health care for the kids and other things they would need especially a stable secure home. We met with the attorney and because there was abuse, we went straight to the courthouse and gained temporary custody. Kent was good with us having custody of Zack but he does have visitations. Which is fine. As for the girls sperm-donor we could not find him. He was no where to be found. After a few months the court awarded full custody to all of us and we started our lives on a more solid ground.
Zack has been very challenging but with his past history, he needed to gain trust, faith and hope all the he didn't have before. We had him tested for ADHD, Autism and other disorders that could be causing his behavior. He was out of school more than he was in it...and that was not good. Once the testing was completed, the school worked with us to secure counseling that Zack desperately needed. It has paid off, Zack is in a special school to help with his behavior and learning to control his anger. He would love to have friends come and play at his house but that will come in time. We have a few more hurtles to reach with him and after that I think he will be a super great student in school.
One more thing, I love my daughter Jessica and only wish her the best. In my heart I feel she knew what she was doing by placing the kids with Tabby and with us. In my heart I know she knew her lifestyle was not safe for those three innocent children and she knew to keep them safe she had to do something drastic. In time the wounds will heal and I hope one day she will come to visit her children and they can handle seeing her.
Our life together started in May of 1974 when Dave Kelly's car broke down and Greg gave me a ride home. Being a rather shy person, he asked me for my phone number and from there we started dating on a very steady basis. We had a lot of fun together. In Sept of 1975 we married and have been enjoying each other since.
I am going to jump ahead quite a few years to 2009, June 28th to be exact. This is the day that our middle daughter Jessica decided it was time to dump her kids and head out with the boyfriend whom she had been with all through her marriage to Kent. It is sad but true, she just could not stand being away from Kent but when they were married everything just seem to fall apart. They lived with us off and on for about a year and in their van quite a bit too. Zack has told me horror stories of how his Mom's boyfriends would beat on him or kick him in the head to punish him and his Mom would do nothing about it. Such a sad time for a six year old kid to deal with all of that. Kent tried but he just gave up, he could not handle the stress any longer and left. He called from time to time to see Zack and the girls but it just wasn't consistent enough. On the 28th Jess seemed angry and upset about something. I fixed a nice dinner for all of us (Jess, the kids, Tabby, Greg too but he was working), and Zack and Jadden always fussed as to who was going to sit where and it was no different that dinner time meal. Jess asked Zack to sit beside her and he got very upset. To keep peace I asked Zack to sit by his Mom for she needed him to and he did but he was happy about it. She got upset and screamed at the kids constantly and Tabby could not stand to hear any more she took her plate and went to her room. After about 10 minutes (or less) Jess got up, went upstairs and told Tabby since she was a perfect MOM she could have her kids, threw two boxes of clothes at her and stomped downstairs. She grabbed Zack by the throat and dragged him out of the house. Poor kid he was screaming for her to stop and so scared. Nothing I could do her say would stop her. I got my cell phone for I was calling the police and Tabby came downstairs shouting at her to stop. Jess of course didn't. She went to Kent's place and threw Zack at him with two boxes of clothes and left. She never returned to our house. Kent called me and said he was bringing Zack back to our house for he was so upset. I told him that was fine and bring him home. Zack was bruised and upset. We got him ready and in bed along with the girls and then sat down and talked out our plan of how things were going to go with all of this. Kent stayed overnight and watched the kids the next day since Greg, Tabby and I had to work and we needed a sitter. Jessica called the next day stating she was heading to Arkansas where she is going to get a good job and good luck with the kids. Tabby called Children Services and they came over on Monday night to talk to us about our options and what we should do. We contacted an attorney who would represent the children and Greg, Tabby and I for full custody so we could get health care for the kids and other things they would need especially a stable secure home. We met with the attorney and because there was abuse, we went straight to the courthouse and gained temporary custody. Kent was good with us having custody of Zack but he does have visitations. Which is fine. As for the girls sperm-donor we could not find him. He was no where to be found. After a few months the court awarded full custody to all of us and we started our lives on a more solid ground.
Zack has been very challenging but with his past history, he needed to gain trust, faith and hope all the he didn't have before. We had him tested for ADHD, Autism and other disorders that could be causing his behavior. He was out of school more than he was in it...and that was not good. Once the testing was completed, the school worked with us to secure counseling that Zack desperately needed. It has paid off, Zack is in a special school to help with his behavior and learning to control his anger. He would love to have friends come and play at his house but that will come in time. We have a few more hurtles to reach with him and after that I think he will be a super great student in school.
One more thing, I love my daughter Jessica and only wish her the best. In my heart I feel she knew what she was doing by placing the kids with Tabby and with us. In my heart I know she knew her lifestyle was not safe for those three innocent children and she knew to keep them safe she had to do something drastic. In time the wounds will heal and I hope one day she will come to visit her children and they can handle seeing her.
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